"Is this some radical new therapy?"

The past entries had some angst, so I'll try to be lighter. Forgive me since I'm releasing bottled-up emotions, plus I can't afford therapy:-) Therapy is good, but it's expensive if one doesn't have proper medical coverage. Also, it's important to find the right therapist. I can't stress this enough! The last one was alright, except that he was costing a fortune. And I don't think he understood the severity of guilt issues and cultural clashes. Yet, he encouraged me to be independent. My first attempt at therapy was a joke. Of all the people in the world, I had to pick one who was of Indian origin. I didn't want to discriminate, so I went ahead and made the appointment. When I arrived, I noticed that his office had three huge portraits of his children. All of them were physicians. All pairs of eyes looking at me, all screaming: "What the hell is wrong with you?! Get your act together sister!" His wife was also a physician. Thanks Universe, for this cruel joke. Give me an entire physician clan.

I don't regret going to med school though. I had a blast. Met a lot of interesting eggs. If it wasn't for those eggs, I wouldn't have finished the degree. Now we're all scattered around the globe, and I wonder if we'll ever see each other again. Or find that level of connection with other eggs. (Wait--I have the blogger buddies. You guys are amazing, too!) It's life. I guess I wasn't prepared for these changes. Happens right? I'm sure we all have our post-university adventures.

I have a strong connection to children, especially the neglected/"slow" learners/handicapped. I could serve humanity in a non-medical setting. I'm not disabled, but I grew up in a pressure-cooker environment. Everything was constantly based on success and high achievements. These are fine goals, but it was stressful to be under a microscope. All the time. This led to a fear of failure. Along the way, I developed mechanisms to deal with failure. Bad ones! Not sure if this makes sense, as to why I'd find a kinship with such a crowd...So, is this a lofty goal? Am I being too idealistic? I would finally do something close to my heart. And break free from the established path.