"Our children are born free, and their freedom is a gift of nature and not of those who gave them birth."--Thomas Jefferson
I found that quote in the recent edition of Esquire. Sean Penn quotes his admiration for the third president of the United States. I'd like to make a big banner of this quote and fly it all around town, especially to the Asian/Indian American community. I know that I shouldn't judge all parents, but I have a bone to pick with most of my peoples...You come to this country for a better life for the family, but please don't infuse the guilt trips of how the kiddies turned out into mutants....Yes, you had a hard life in the homeland, but it doesn't mean that you have to take it out on the kiddies. Abuse passes on to the generations, unless someone puts an end to the vicious cycle...
I have decided to keep an upbeat tone to this blog, yet I shall rant when there's no other outlet. The best way to describe my current mood is the scene from "Ferris Bueler's Day Off" when Cameron decides to go ape-shit on his father's car. I have no intentions of destroying property, and I don't think that my father values material things more than his family...But I'm sick of the fucked up arguments that I haven't struggled in life. I don't want sympathy. But don't give me the garbage that I've turned out to be an underachiever/slacker/spoiled brat...
If I was a spoiled brat, then I would have caused a riot when you sent out college applications on my behalf...without telling me or giving any choice in the matter. If I was a spoiled brat, then I wouldn't have covered up the years of abuse at the hands of a "good uncle"...just so that old wounds wouldn't be opened. If I was a spoiled brat, then I wouldn't have taken that beating for me and mom...and run off to a faraway post-communist country to gain "my freedom." If I was a spoiled brat, then I wouldn't have trashed the old blog...because I thought I was being selfish with my feelings towards "loved ones." If I was a spoiled brat, then I wouldn't be able to reach out to others without judgment. I don't give a flying fuck if one has an MD, JD, DDS, MS, etc...we're all human beings, and trying to make the world a better place. Don't give me the bologna that I've turned out half-baked. If that's what you think, then go ahead and make yourself miserable. Because as Al Franken would say "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me." Even if you don't like me, I don't care. I love myself with all the odd quirks and silliness..
Yes, I was feeling giddy with my crush and job. They gave much needed distractions from the drama called home-life. In an earlier entry, I said that I have a version of "All In The Family." Only I'd have the role of Meathead, and my brother would play the role of Gloria. We'd change their roles to brother and sister. He's the light-hearted one, who can uplift his sister when the going gets rough. Yes, he pisses me off at times, but we've been through enough shit together. Sorry that you had to follow my footsteps, too. Anyhow, I truly enjoyed the last few weeks of distractions because I needed them...
I'll be in touch. It's going to be an exciting ride. Sending out the paperwork for grad school has been fun (hehe). I did it my way. Finally I'll be making my own decisions without the constant guilt/emotional baggage/excessive stress. And this my friends, is what freedom is all about.
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5 comments:
Good for you!! I've always known you were a strong person. I knew that you had it in you. All those nights on the phone, your taking the long way home to find me in my dorm room in Rutherford, New Jersey!!
It's going to be a bumpy ride, but you know what, I'll be a rest stop whenever you need one.
In my most femenine voice possible, "You go girl!" :D
(Do you really need any encouragement? It sounds as if you've got it all together. Take names and kick ass at work and give the crush a smoochie-smoochie!)
Angel--Yeah the first bump happened today as I moved my crap...Of course the band-aids are unavailable when one needs them! One more box and that's it!
Aaron--I don't think I have it all together, but it's about time to kick some serious ass. Thanks! I think I'll pass on the smoochies though:) Not that brave!
It's a simple law of nature - the more you try to control, the more you push them away.
Unfortunately for the control-freaks, you're not a robot. They can't just program you and let you go on your merry way.
i guess no family anywhere is perfect huh? but its great to learn from thier mistakes and stand up for what you believe in.
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